Let's Talk About Best Friends

Bestie. Homie. Ride or Die. BFF. BFFL. Or simply, Best Friend.

Having a best friend is something truly special. Someone you can lean on. Someone you can trust. Someone you can tell anything to. Someone who understands you and share some of your interests. Someone who is there for you from breaking up with your boyfriend to covering you so you can dig out a wedgie. This is a person who is very special. Believe it or not, finding a best friend is something that is very rare. Yet, the word best friend or bestie gets thrown around a lot.

Me and my best friend Sabrina
reunited after a couple of months

So how do you know that you indeed have found your best friend? When they are the top of your friends and the one who you know that no matter what paths the both of you take in life that you will be close for life and each time you see each other, there's nothing but screams, laughs, and hugs. When you can tell them anything and with confidence, know that they won't tell your secrets. When you know that if they are ever in a sticky situation (let's say, jail - LOL), you will be there for them. These things among so many other things is what let's you know that you have a best friend.

However, why is this topic important to our community? Everybody needs a best friend, right? That is correct, but the reason why having a best friend is so important to our group in society is because as black females, we tend to not be seen in a positive light when it comes to friendships. Reality TV teaches us that all black women will eventually stab you in the back, even if you are BFFs. The phrase "Trust No B*tch" has been thrown around so much and has cause our group in society to become strained from one another. Instead of going at each others throats, fighting, and calling each other "B"s like we are some wild animals on reality TV, we should lift each other up, promote girl power, and promote sisterhood. Having a best friend is one of those ways we can say to society, "HEY! Not all black women hate each other! We, too, have a sisterhood."

So do you truly have a best friend? Tell me all about your best friend and what you love about your friendship down in the comments below.

Don't Change For Him

As a teen, many of us has tried to impress a guy. We might fix our hair a little differently, start analyzing closely what we wear, just trying to appeal to him. You see the girls that he mostly look at and realize that you look nothing like them. So what do you do? Change. No, that's definitely not the answer.

It might sound cliché, but every girl should find a guy who likes them for them. It's okay to improve who you already are on the outside. It's only natural for us to do so when we want to attract him. However, don't completely change who you are just to be with him. You don't have to wear short or tight clothes, or wear pounds of makeup, or even show off your body in a way that you're not comfortable with to try to get his attention. What's more important is what's on the inside. If he is only attracted to you because you are now revealing your body, then he shouldn't be the kind of guy that you want to be with. Trust me. When you realize that is all he wants, you won't feel good afterwards.

Find someone who loves you for YOU.

Have you ever changed yourself to get someone's attention? Leave a comment about your experience with this topic.

Daddy Issues

In the black community, it seems like our fathers are the most absent. "Daddy issues" seems to always affect girls and young women.
She got pregnant at 15. Daddy Issues.
She had sex with every dude (and maybe even girl) in the school. Daddy Issues.
She calls herself a b*tch and is proud of it and let guys treat her any type of way. Daddy Issues.

Luckily, this girl wasn't me. I could've easily went down that road since my real father was pretty much an absence in my life. If it wasn't for my stepdad, I could've had those issues.

painting by Patterson Clark

Now I know you're saying, "What the heck is this post? I thought we are suppose to talk about guys we like and advice on relationships and stuff." My response is 'Isn't the very first healthy relationship with someone of the opposite sex should be your father?' Your father is suppose to be the very first man that shows you how you should be treated, respected, and cherished. And let's say you don't want to talk to your father. Then, it is important that you find a father figure in your life. Find an uncle. Older cousin. Older brother. Someone.

It is extremely important that you do this before you even try to learn to be in a romantic relationship with anyone. Your father or father figure is the very first key to any relationship advice. If you have daddy issues or still need relationship advice, then you've came to the right place. Stay tuned to my blog.

Do you have "daddy issues"? Please comment down below and tell me what you think about this subject.